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Keep Silence
I've found myself growing less and less willing to speak with people, because so few are truly willing to listen. Most people don't care what you're saying - they're simply waiting for you to stop so they can launch into what they want to say. Once, I was speaking face-to-face with a pastor, and before I even finished my sentence, he abruptly turned away and began talking to someone else, without acknowledgement at all.
我变得越来越不想与人说话。因为，很少有人愿意真正听你说话。大部分人根本不在意你说的是什么，他们只想等你闭嘴后赶快滔滔不绝的说他们想说的。甚至有一次，我与一位牧师面对面交流时，当我还正在说话时，他没有给我任何示意就转去和另外一个人聊天。
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Don't stop me from fishing.
Don't stop me from fishing. Many human activities derive most of their satisfaction from the recognition of an external "audience": writing needs readers, music needs listeners. But fishing is almost a purely personal pleasure - quieting the heart and delivering an intense thrill.
不要阻止我钓鱼。人类的很多活动，大部分满足感来来自外部「观众」的认可。比如：写作需要读者，音乐需要听众。而钓鱼，几乎是一种纯粹的个人享受 - 安静内心的同时有极强的刺激。
- I don't like cruise.
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Indecision
Indecision is consuming me. Because of it, there are things I could have done but didn't, and things I should done but failed to do. The former becomes regret; the latter becomes the guilt born from procrastination. Writing down these feelings is a way to ease them - or even to heal.
犹豫不决，这种情绪在吞噬我。犹豫不决，导致一些可以做的事情没有去做，导致该做的事情没有做；前者是遗憾，后者是拖延症带来的负罪感。而将这种感受写下来，是缓解或者治疗的一种方式。
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Building Life
Building live may become one of my themes for 2026 - building my own life and helping others build theirs. I also hope to create a small "Back to China" fund (even if the amount is modest) to support certain groups of people.
建造生命，或许是我2026年的一个生活主题。建造自己的生命，帮助他人建造生命。另外，我有一些想做一个 Back to China 的基金（尽管钱不多），以支持一些特定的人群。
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Time and Priority
When people say "I don't have time" in response to something or a request, what they truly mean is that the priority of that matter is very low. No one actually lacks time - we all have twenty-four hours each day. When I say that I don't have time to read the Bible or to pray, it simply reveals that God holds a low priority in my heart. Yet Colossians 1:18 says that Christ should have supremacy in all things.
当人们面对某个事情或者请求说「我没有时间」的时候，其实在表达这个事情或请求的优先级很低。人并非没有时间，每人每天都有24小时。当我说，我没有时间读圣经或者祷告时，只是说明，神在我心里的优先级很低。然而，圣经《歌罗西书》1:18 说，基督在凡事上居首位。
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AI tools vs Coffee
In the age of AI, anyone can easily create simple tools. So as developers, is there still a future in designing and building paid tools? I think of an analogy: coffee. Everyone can brew coffee at home, yet coffee shops still thrive. Two reasons: 1. Convenience; 2. Quality. Some coffee shops simply make it better than you can yourself.
在AI时代，人人都可以轻易的制造简单的工具。作为开发者，设计与制造付费工具还有没有前景？我想到一个类比：咖啡。每个人都可以自己冲咖啡，那为什么咖啡店还存在？两个原因：1. 方便；2. 的确有些咖啡店做得就是比自己好。
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Vibe Coding
After a few days of vibe coding in Cursor, I felt a nostalgic touch of the early 2000s - like building personal sites in Dreamweaver or Flash. The difference is, today, even designer with no coding background can create truly usable products with vibe coding. Fascinating. Considering increasing my holdings in Figma and Nvidia.
玩了几天 Cursor 的 Vibe Coding，有一些 20 年前用 Dreamweaver/Flash 做个人网站的味道。只是，对于不懂编程的设计师来说，现在 Vibe Coding 可以做出用户可以实际使用的产品。有意思。Figma, Nvidia 的股票适合再买一些。
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Fame and wealth
When will fame and wealth ever be enough? I once believed I was someone indifferent to both, yet lately I've realized the opposite - I am deeply attached to them. I check my stock account several times a day (though I make no trades) - that's my attachment to wealth. And I long intensely to build some kind of personal reputation - whether through work, hobbies, or my blog.
名和利，哪天才足够？曾以为自己是一个看淡名利的人，最近发现非但不是，反倒是沉迷名利。每天查看好几次股票账户（倒没有买卖行为），这是看重利；深深渴望通过某种形式建立自己的名气（职场/兴趣/blog...）
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10/28/2025
I have always felt a lingering sense of dissatisfaction - I have never single-handedly completed something that felt truly fulfilling, satisfying, and perfect. The sad thing is, I don't even know what that thing is, though I've been searching for it, consciously or unconsciously, for the past twenty years.
At times, I find myself deeply absorbed in admiring independent developers, designers, artist, and entrepreneurs - people who have accomplished what I could not.
Although, by worldly standards, I wouldn't be considered a failure, I've come to realize that success and fulfillment are two different things.
我内心中一直有一种不满足，没有独自做成一件事，很尽兴、满足、完美的做一件事。遗憾的事，我连这件事是什么都不知道，尽管在过去二十年中我一直或明或暗的寻找。有些时候，我沉浸在对一些独立开发者、设计师、艺术家、企业家的欣赏与关注中，因为他们做了我没法做成的事。虽然，世俗意义上，我并不算失败。但，成功与满足感，是两件事。
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Sell $AAPL
Two days ago, I sold all the Apple Stock I had held for three years. It's been a long time since Apple has shown any true successful innovation. I once had high hopes for the rumored Apple Car. The Apple Vision is a fine product, but I didn't believe Tim Cook can make it success.
Apple launched its voice assistant Siri in 2011, yet by 2025 it has fade into obscurity, replaced by ChatGPT. Apple is no longer cool. It's product lineup has once again expanded to the scale it had before Steve Jobs streamlined it.
AI presents Apple with a major opportunity - but I don't think Tim Cook can seize it. He's a professional manager, not a founder like Jobs, Elon Musk, or Jensen Huang.
前天清空了持有了3年的苹果股票。很多年都没有看到苹果有什么成功的创新。曾经对苹果汽车报有很大的期待。Apple Vision是个不错的东西，但我不认为Tim Cook能将其推向成功。苹果在2011年推出语音智能Siri，在2025年已经被人遗忘，取而代之的是ChatGPT。苹果不酷了，产品线的数量回到了乔布斯削减产品之前的规模。对于苹果，AI是一个机会。但我不认为Tim Cook能够把握好。因为，他只是一个职业经理人，而不是创始人，像乔布斯、Elon Musk、黄仁勋那样的创始人。
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A dream
At 2:30 am, I returned from fishing at the sate park and fell half-asleep the moment I hit the bed. I had a dream: I was secretly fishing in the my uncle's pond in my hometown village in Changsha - and got caught by him (or perhaps it was my mother's brother instead). The path leading to the pond, the water, the branches submerged beneath the surface - all of it felt so familiar, so real. Only the two fish I caught were strange, unlike any I had ever seen. My old home was demolished two years ago.
凌晨2点半，从state park钓鱼回来，倒头在床上迷迷糊糊的睡着。做了一个梦。在长沙农村老家叔叔家的池塘偷偷钓鱼，被叔叔抓住（但又似乎是舅舅家）。通往池塘的小路、水、水中的树杈，一切都是那么的熟悉、真实。只是，那两条鱼是从未见过的古怪。老家已被拆迁两年了。
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How Great Thou Art
I have to confess: God is almighty, glorious, and holy - He is my hope, my joy, and my strength. How weak, rebellious, helpless, and unworthy I am. Yet in moments when my breath feels faint and my heart is weighed down by struggle and self-condemnation, I begin to read a little of the Bible and offer prayers - or signs - to God. Then, slowly, my weary, shadowed, and sorrowful heart begins to regain a measure of strength.
不得不承认，神是全能、荣耀、圣洁，神是我的盼望、喜乐、力量。我是多么的软弱、悖逆、无能、不堪。在气若游丝之际、挣扎困苦之中，强压内心的自我定罪，开始读一点圣经，向神有些祷告（或叹息），软弱、幽暗、忧郁的心开始变得有一些力量。
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关于婚姻
Marriage is never easy. Each stage brings its own challenges. Just like regular health checkups or car maintenance, marriage also needs intentional review and care. Without it, problems may grow unnoticed until they reach a "terminal stage".
In this regard, the church should do two things: first, provide thorough premarital counseling; and second, build a marriage support network - where every couple can find trusted friends for regular counseling and also learn to become mentors for others.
婚姻不容易。不同阶段有不同的挑战。就像定期的健康体检或汽车保养一样，婚姻也需要有明确的回顾与维护。若从不检查，一旦出了问题，就可能陷入“晚期绝症”的状态。在婚姻方面，教会应当做两件事：一是提供完整的婚前辅导；二是搭建一个婚姻守望平台——让每一对夫妻都能找到值得信任的夫妻朋友，进行定期的婚姻辅导，同时也学习成为他人的婚姻辅导者。
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Be focus in midlife
When I return to my Design System work after two months, I spent a great deal of time retracing my original design logic - some of which I can't recall at all. I have to admit, my mind isn't as sharp as it once was. There is simply too much to juggle in midlife. I need focus - pure, unwavering focus - like that of a assassin.
Life requires doing some honest subtraction.
当我重拾2个月前的Design System的工作时，花了很多时间去回顾当初的设计思路，甚至有些已经完全想不起来。不得不承认，我的脑子没有年轻时那么好用了。中年人生活中要处理的事情太多了。我需要专注，心无旁骛，像一名杀手一样。
生活需要实实在在的做一些减法。
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Drifting without Direction
In 2025, I've gradually come to realize a troubling truth: over the past few years, I have become increasingly negative and passive. Before 2019, I had little money, yet I still dared to try many things - though most ended in failure. After 2019, life became ore stable, but I also lost my sense of pursuit, merely drifting along, pushed by life and circumstances.
At its root, the problem comes down to two things: the lack of a clear direction - what my Christian faith calls a calling - and the lack of courage. This is not a healthy state to remain in.
2025年慢慢清晰的意识到一个问题，最近几年我变得非常消极、被动。2019年以前没有什么钱，当时还会有很多尝试，尽管大部分是失败的；2019年后生活平稳了，但也变得没有一点追求了，只是被动的被生活、被环境推着走。归根到底，两个原因：没有明确的方向（基督信仰中称之为呼召）、缺乏勇气。这不是一个好的状态。
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I like making prototypes
Once the design direction is confirmed, I like to use detailed prototypes to the intended effect and experience of product. Although this approach may often seem inefficient or even clumsy, but it works well for me. The process of creating high-fidelity prototypes helps me to think thoroughly and with great nuance. The prototype itself also serves as an excellent tool for communicating with others- whether clients or engineers.
在设计方向确认后，我喜欢用尽可能细致的设计原型去展现产品应有的效果与体验。很多时候，这种做法显得低效与愚钝；但对我来说，很有效果。制作高保真原型的过程，能帮助我更充分、细腻的思考。原型本身，是与他人（客户/工程师...)沟通的绝佳工具；
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Dream of running design studio
Running a design studio had been my dream for many years, even when I had no resources or connections. Now, with abundant experience, resources, and networks, I no longer feel the desire to pursue it.
On reflection, there are two main reasons. First, I find communicating and co-creating with clients exhausting, even though it can sometimes be wonderful experience. Second, running a design studio is not particularly profitable - unless one reaches the very top of the industry.
开一个设计工作室，在过去很多年都是我的一个理想或者梦想；即使，那时候没有资源、没有人脉。 现在，外在条件齐备了很多，设计经验、资源、人脉都很丰富了。但却没有想做设计工作室的想法了。 细想，主要两个原因。其一，对于与客户沟通/共创感到厌烦，尽管有时也是一种美妙的体验；其二，做设计工作室也不是那么赚钱，如果不是做到行业顶尖的话。
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Thoughts on design
Just like writing, I believe design requires inspiration-whether in ideation or execution. When inspiration strikes, ideas flow endlessly. Conversely, in its absence, my output is minimal. Similarly, like a stage performance, after reaching a peak state in design - through bursts of continuous output or design presentations - I often fall into an emotional low of exhaustion, where I don't want to do anything but empty my mind.
正如写作，我相信设计是需要灵感的，不管是创意/构思，还是执行。灵感来了，文思泉涌。反过来，缺少灵感的时候，我的产出很少。又如舞台表演，设计的高峰状态之后（如：连续的产出，设计演示等），我会陷入一种精疲力竭的情绪低谷，什么都不想做，只想要放空。
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No Bible, no meal
Last night, I made a firm decision: from today on, I will read the Bible for 20 minutes every day. I had made this resolution many times before, but almost always ended in failure. The reason was simple - desire without action.
Today, I nearly failed again. As I was about to put breakfast into my mouth, a thought suddenly struck me: Read the Bible before eating. So I set the food aside and spent 20 minutes in Scripture. It was a wonderful experience.
From that moment, I established a rule for myself: No Bible, no meal. It feels harsh to me, but it truly works.
昨晚我下定了一个决心，从今天起坚持每天读圣经20分钟；我曾很多次立下这样的心志，但是几乎都以失败告终。原因是：只有愿望，没有行动。今天，我又差点失败了。当我正将早餐食物送入嘴中的时候，我突然被一个想法击中：读完圣经再吃东西。于是，我放下食物，阅读了20分钟神经。很美妙的体验。于是，我立下一个规矩：不读圣经，不吃饭。这对我来说，真够苛刻的；但真的有效。